The Motions

I am like a river, just going with the flow of whatever life brings me. Continuing on. Having my challenges, having my successes, my joy, laughter, sadness, anger, sudden bursts of feelings that I get when he walks towards me, hugging me, flirting with me. Things that all teenage girls go through. The motions. Sometimes I get to wondering, 'Why does this have to happen to me? Why did I have to be so stupid and rude?' Sometimes it's just about me. Selfish feelings, and feelings of being invincible, nothing ever being able to destroy me. Feelings that I will never grow old and never see myself with kids. Sometimes I feel like I am the dumbest person ever, that if I say one thing incorrect on something that I don't understand then I have the feeling that someone will laugh at me mean. Sometimes I feel smart, and I help those and understand those who struggle with the thing that I am good at. And sometimes I don't know what I'm feeling. Whether it be anger, sadness, happiness, or just plain tiredness. And with that I will feel like life is just going through the motions as it always does, and I can't always control what's going to happen. I just have to trust what will.