So there was this guy that I was dating for a short time a few weeks ago, but things are definitely over between us now. I just have a question that I hope someone can answer because it seems completely incomprehensible to me. Why is it that some guys think that they can kiss a girl while they are dating other girls at the same time? It just doesn't make any sense to me.
Anyway's, so the story with this guy is that at first we met at church. I thought that he was cute, but I kinda forgot about him later. A couple weeks later he was flirting with me, but I didn't really recognize, so embarrassingly I asked him what his name was, and he told me, than went on to add that we had already met before. Yeah, that's not awkward at all.
Later that week it's my birthday, and a few of my friends put on a small party for me, and he happened to be one of the guys that they invited. Well by the end of the party when people were leaving we exchanged numbers. A few days later he texted me and he started telling me how he likes to barbecue, so I told him that he should make me something, and then he said, "How about Monday?" I said yes. Then he said that it was a date. K, I think that I should first add that I really hate it when guys text me to ask me out, like, what's so difficult about picking up the phone and calling? Anyway's, on with the story.
So I told him that I had never been on a motorcycle before and that it was on my bucket list to do that. I had absolutely no idea that he owned his own motorcycle, so for our first date he picked me up on it, and so I was thinking about how great this was already going. And it was really great, we had a really good time and I was really starting to like him.
Now the second date. I asked him out for this one. He came over to my house and we baked cookies and then watched Sherlock (one of my favorite TV shows). It just made the date ten times better though when he said that we had to move our date (it was originally going to be on a Monday again, but then went to the next day, Tuesday) because he was on a date. Cool, no problem. I shouldn't worry about it because it's not like we were a couple or anything. We just had a few dates. Still, try thinking about that with the guy that you like, that you asked out a week after he took you out. Yeah.
Our third date was a lot better. He asked me out again for this one. We didn't do a whole lot. Got a quick dinner and then watched some TV at his house. One thing led to another and we ended making out on his couch. Once we were done I had to ask him what this meant, because I'm not the kind of girl who just kisses casually. I'm emotional, and it can be really annoying sometimes, but I get attached when a guy kisses me.
You know what he said? He said that he's been dating a lot of girls lately, and he felt bad for them and didn't just want to end things with them. Ugh, as I think about it now it just makes me want to gag.
I talked to my friends at work about it, and they said that I deserved to know what his intentions were, although it seemed like he already showed me his intentions.
So about a week later when we were at a church activity, after I finally got him alone, I asked him what exactly we were.
"Wow," he said. "I wasn't really prepared for this. Well, I really really like you, and I still want to take you out on more dates, but I want to ask out other girls too."
I was simultaneously unhappy and happy that I asked him.
Well with me being my nice sweet self I just kept on saying, "Yeah, yeah, I get that." I wasn't yelling or really reacting at all. I was just staring down at my feet. When he was done talking I said, still staring down at my feet, "Well, I gotta get heading home." With arms crossed I started walking away from him.
"Don't I get a hug?" He asked. How do you make a face of someone rolling their eyes?
"Oh... sure." I walked the few steps back to him and hugged him. I didn't hug him tightly, I just sort of patted him on the back as he hugged me. As I stepped away I asked him, "Are you nervous?"
"A little bit." He responded, his voice raising in inflection slightly. Good, he deserves that.
"Can I still take you out on dates?" He asked me.
"We'll see." I smiled, and walked back to my car.
Honestly, I was surprised when he asked me out again. And honestly, I'm not surprised that he hasn't asked me out since.
This date was actually more of a date. He took me up to the canyon and we went on a short little hike, which was fun because I really enjoy doing that. Well he kept on asking me what I was thinking. He had a habit of asking that when I least expected it, and it always annoyed me. I always responded with 'I don't know' because my mind would draw a blank when he would say that. Which is true because I just don't do good with on the spot questions. Anyway's, at that moment though my mind hadn't drawn a blank. Instead I was thinking about how I didn't really want him kissing me anymore if he was dating other girls, which I was sure that he was kissing them as well. But I didn't say any of that. I just told him my usual answer of 'I don't know.'
Truth be told, I wanted to get to dinner before things got awkward.
When it was time for dinner and we had picked a place (it was this small little Taiwanese place) I waited a little bit until we got our dinner. I was just sort of pecking at my food with the chopsticks they provided. A few minutes before I felt starving, but all of the sudden I just wasn't anymore. Finally I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"So I'm totally fine if you want to keep things casual between us and date other people, but I don't want you to be kissing me in the process."
Just like before, I caught him off guard. Good.
"Sorry." He mumbled at his food.
"Because you know," I went on. "It kinda makes a girl think that there's something more."
"Sorry." He said again.
I don't know what it is about situations like this, but whenever I confront someone, I almost always have a smile on my face, and talk so nicely to them, though inside I want to yell at them. I get my point across, but I don't raise my voice, and that is what was happening.
"It's okay," I said. "Just don't plan on kissing me again if you're going to be taking other girls out, which I'm assuming you're kissing them too." He certainly did not say otherwise to my comment.
Calmly, but I could still tell, slightly uncomfortable, he said, "I'm probably not the right guy for you. You probably shouldn't say yes again when I ask you out."
"Maybe you shouldn't ask me out again." I replied.
K, so he's already lost several thousand points with me with all of the crap that he said, but then he had the audacity to suggest a friend of his to go out on date with me.
And here's to sum up the basic stupidity of this guy. He told me, "To be honest, I don't think that I could ever fall for you."
Wow, ouch. It's not like I was even saying that I was absolutely head-over-heals in love with him - believe me, that would never happen - but then it's like he's trying to make me feel bad. Jeez. All because I was standing up for myself. But I am happy to say that I never once said that he was a self-centered jerk, or that he had no idea how to be a gentleman, but that I was simply polite.
At one point he said that there's been several relationships over this summer that could have gone onto being something, but he was just scared. I guess that he was married briefly before, but his wife walked out on him, so he has trouble trusting women. I get that, but I think that he should think a little bit before he just goes around kissing girls with no attachment. I told him that maybe he should try to not push a girl away. His opinion was that he wasn't pushing them away. I looked at him incredulously and said, "Really?"
Anyway's, lets just say that I haven't really had a desire to talk to him, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's put me in his little "friend-zone" that he's told me he's put several other girls into.
So that's my little rant. Guy's sure can be stupid, and I just don't understand why, but oh well. I'm only 19, I still have a while before I need to worry about having a serious man in my life. Let's just hope that he's a good guy. Fingers crossed. ☻☺
Anyway's, so the story with this guy is that at first we met at church. I thought that he was cute, but I kinda forgot about him later. A couple weeks later he was flirting with me, but I didn't really recognize, so embarrassingly I asked him what his name was, and he told me, than went on to add that we had already met before. Yeah, that's not awkward at all.
Later that week it's my birthday, and a few of my friends put on a small party for me, and he happened to be one of the guys that they invited. Well by the end of the party when people were leaving we exchanged numbers. A few days later he texted me and he started telling me how he likes to barbecue, so I told him that he should make me something, and then he said, "How about Monday?" I said yes. Then he said that it was a date. K, I think that I should first add that I really hate it when guys text me to ask me out, like, what's so difficult about picking up the phone and calling? Anyway's, on with the story.
So I told him that I had never been on a motorcycle before and that it was on my bucket list to do that. I had absolutely no idea that he owned his own motorcycle, so for our first date he picked me up on it, and so I was thinking about how great this was already going. And it was really great, we had a really good time and I was really starting to like him.
Now the second date. I asked him out for this one. He came over to my house and we baked cookies and then watched Sherlock (one of my favorite TV shows). It just made the date ten times better though when he said that we had to move our date (it was originally going to be on a Monday again, but then went to the next day, Tuesday) because he was on a date. Cool, no problem. I shouldn't worry about it because it's not like we were a couple or anything. We just had a few dates. Still, try thinking about that with the guy that you like, that you asked out a week after he took you out. Yeah.
Our third date was a lot better. He asked me out again for this one. We didn't do a whole lot. Got a quick dinner and then watched some TV at his house. One thing led to another and we ended making out on his couch. Once we were done I had to ask him what this meant, because I'm not the kind of girl who just kisses casually. I'm emotional, and it can be really annoying sometimes, but I get attached when a guy kisses me.
You know what he said? He said that he's been dating a lot of girls lately, and he felt bad for them and didn't just want to end things with them. Ugh, as I think about it now it just makes me want to gag.
I talked to my friends at work about it, and they said that I deserved to know what his intentions were, although it seemed like he already showed me his intentions.
So about a week later when we were at a church activity, after I finally got him alone, I asked him what exactly we were.
"Wow," he said. "I wasn't really prepared for this. Well, I really really like you, and I still want to take you out on more dates, but I want to ask out other girls too."
I was simultaneously unhappy and happy that I asked him.
Well with me being my nice sweet self I just kept on saying, "Yeah, yeah, I get that." I wasn't yelling or really reacting at all. I was just staring down at my feet. When he was done talking I said, still staring down at my feet, "Well, I gotta get heading home." With arms crossed I started walking away from him.
"Don't I get a hug?" He asked. How do you make a face of someone rolling their eyes?
"Oh... sure." I walked the few steps back to him and hugged him. I didn't hug him tightly, I just sort of patted him on the back as he hugged me. As I stepped away I asked him, "Are you nervous?"
"A little bit." He responded, his voice raising in inflection slightly. Good, he deserves that.
"Can I still take you out on dates?" He asked me.
"We'll see." I smiled, and walked back to my car.
Honestly, I was surprised when he asked me out again. And honestly, I'm not surprised that he hasn't asked me out since.
This date was actually more of a date. He took me up to the canyon and we went on a short little hike, which was fun because I really enjoy doing that. Well he kept on asking me what I was thinking. He had a habit of asking that when I least expected it, and it always annoyed me. I always responded with 'I don't know' because my mind would draw a blank when he would say that. Which is true because I just don't do good with on the spot questions. Anyway's, at that moment though my mind hadn't drawn a blank. Instead I was thinking about how I didn't really want him kissing me anymore if he was dating other girls, which I was sure that he was kissing them as well. But I didn't say any of that. I just told him my usual answer of 'I don't know.'
Truth be told, I wanted to get to dinner before things got awkward.
When it was time for dinner and we had picked a place (it was this small little Taiwanese place) I waited a little bit until we got our dinner. I was just sort of pecking at my food with the chopsticks they provided. A few minutes before I felt starving, but all of the sudden I just wasn't anymore. Finally I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"So I'm totally fine if you want to keep things casual between us and date other people, but I don't want you to be kissing me in the process."
Just like before, I caught him off guard. Good.
"Sorry." He mumbled at his food.
"Because you know," I went on. "It kinda makes a girl think that there's something more."
"Sorry." He said again.
I don't know what it is about situations like this, but whenever I confront someone, I almost always have a smile on my face, and talk so nicely to them, though inside I want to yell at them. I get my point across, but I don't raise my voice, and that is what was happening.
"It's okay," I said. "Just don't plan on kissing me again if you're going to be taking other girls out, which I'm assuming you're kissing them too." He certainly did not say otherwise to my comment.
Calmly, but I could still tell, slightly uncomfortable, he said, "I'm probably not the right guy for you. You probably shouldn't say yes again when I ask you out."
"Maybe you shouldn't ask me out again." I replied.
K, so he's already lost several thousand points with me with all of the crap that he said, but then he had the audacity to suggest a friend of his to go out on date with me.
And here's to sum up the basic stupidity of this guy. He told me, "To be honest, I don't think that I could ever fall for you."
Wow, ouch. It's not like I was even saying that I was absolutely head-over-heals in love with him - believe me, that would never happen - but then it's like he's trying to make me feel bad. Jeez. All because I was standing up for myself. But I am happy to say that I never once said that he was a self-centered jerk, or that he had no idea how to be a gentleman, but that I was simply polite.
At one point he said that there's been several relationships over this summer that could have gone onto being something, but he was just scared. I guess that he was married briefly before, but his wife walked out on him, so he has trouble trusting women. I get that, but I think that he should think a little bit before he just goes around kissing girls with no attachment. I told him that maybe he should try to not push a girl away. His opinion was that he wasn't pushing them away. I looked at him incredulously and said, "Really?"
Anyway's, lets just say that I haven't really had a desire to talk to him, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's put me in his little "friend-zone" that he's told me he's put several other girls into.
So that's my little rant. Guy's sure can be stupid, and I just don't understand why, but oh well. I'm only 19, I still have a while before I need to worry about having a serious man in my life. Let's just hope that he's a good guy. Fingers crossed. ☻☺
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