Anna

CHAPTER TWELVE


We just lay there in silence cuddled close together in his room. His hand gently strokes my arm, my hand rubbing circles on his palm.
The TV is on, the only thing lighting up the room, colors bouncing off the walls. The sound fills the room yet I hear nothing. As if I have gone deaf from my own thoughts.
As we lie there in silence the thought of my mother lying in the hospital bed scares me. The thought of her helpless, the doctors keeping her alive for as long as is possible. I suddenly let out a small cry. I try to cover it up by laughing, but that would never be believable, especially since we are watching West Side Story. Conner presses his lips against my head and I feel like a child. The parent trying to comfort their daughter from the fears she has of the world. And it helps a little, but I feel like I will never feel completely comfortable without mom here. And though she's not 'gone', she is still gone. Gone from us.
As I lie like this with Conner I feel happy. I feel protected. I feel apreciated. I feel special. I feel... loved.