Paying Attention

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR


The moment when I receive a test, look at it, and am like, 'Well I'm screwed.'

This is me at this moment in math. As you already know I am quite terrible at math, so now looking at it just makes me have a bored feeling inside. Not nervous or sad. Just bored because I don't understand it and I feel like I am staring at a complete foreign language. One question is a word problem. It says:

 For a new car priced at $24.00, Martha takes a five-year loan with an interest rate of 6.5%. By the time she owns the car, how much will she have paid including principal (the original cost) and interest? (Note: the formula for interest = principal X rate X time.)

Here's what I see:

If Martha buys a car and doesn't have that much money, and the planet Zorgon comes to destroy our planet, and she only has $24.00 with her, what will she use that for? To buy 6.5% of investments, or donate to the local charity for blind and deaf kids? (Note: if she uses this money, she will never get it back.)

I let out a big long sigh. Yeah, that really makes sense. This is going to be the longest test of my life.

Hmm, maybe I'll have a little fun with that.

I write off the the side of the question: Mrs. Smith, I really appreciate you giving me this test, really. But I think that I have gained all of my learning from all of the great lessons that you have given us. I understand it all, I just don't think that it would be fair to everyone else in the class if they saw how well I did and got lower scores. You understand, right? Its not a matter of trying to get out of the test; think of it more as a matter of what is fare and what is not fare. Thank you so much, I hope that you truly understand, because I know that I do.

That should be good.

A little bit lower down the page is a problem that says solve for x. So I draw another x next to it and then put a line under it to create a picture of a cartoon dead person.

Oh how I love math.

***

I walk out of math feeling accomplished, but also feeling like I deffinitly failed that test.

As I'm walking down the hall to go down to the second floor (yes, three floors at my school) I feel someone tap my right shoulder. I turn to see who it is, and while I'm turning I wonder why I fell for that so easily. Turning around the rest of the way (I was about halfway turned when I checked), I see Elijah standing to the left of me, a laughing smile on his face. All of the sudden I feel my stomach do a sommersault. Why am I just now feeling nervous when he's around me? I don't understand.

"Ugh, I can't believe that I fell for that!" I laugh.

He laughs too. "I can. You do it to people all of the time, yet you seem to get tricked as well."

That is true. I do like to mess with people quite frequently, and that is the main, stupid prank that I do. Still, it's rediculous that I fell for it.

"So I'm hanging out with a few friends this weekend, and... I was wondering if you wanted to... um.... maybe come with me. Only if you want to of cours." He adds quickly.

I think for a second. Do I want to stay home and watch movies? Yes. I feel like I haven't had much of a weekend to myself lately. But, do I want to go with Eli? Absolutely.

"Yeah, sure, that sounds fun." I say as casually as I can. "What would we be doing?" I ask him like its a date even though I know that its just to hang out. But then why was he pausing so much when he was asking me?....

"I was thinking about maybe going out to get dinner and then go to a movie. Or, vise verse."

"That sounds cool." I say, smiling up at him.

"Great...." He pauses and we are standing close to my class. "So," he continues, "I was wondering.... Have you thought about me, and... Sadies?" He's leaning with his shoulder against the wall with his arms crossed, looking sexy and comfortable. Except he's looking everywhere but me, like this conversation is making him anything BUT comfortable.

"You'll be getting an answer about that soon. But I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think that you will be getting the question that you've been waiting for."

His face brighten's and his mouth stretches into a sly smile, showing his perfect white teeth contrasted to his darker skin. "So does that mean that you're asking me?"

"You'll just have to wait and see." I laugh. But then the late bell rings and I have to head into class. It's history which isn't bad, but... it's history.

Wait a minute. I just realized that Elijah's next class is down on the first floor and he just walked me to my class and is now late. Holy crap! What does this mean?

Paying Attention

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE


-I am in the dressing room at school, getting ready for my part in the play. But wait. I can't find my clothes. Or my shoes. I left them right there. But I can't look around now, I have to be on-stage any minute. I have to at least find something though.

All of the sudden I am out on stage without realizing that I had put myself there, and Elijah is right there on the first row, looking up, smiling.

I see myself from a distance a notice that I am up there with just my underwear on. I am open for everyone to see, and I am not even hiding myself at all. And still, all the while Elijah just stares, the same smile that he had to begin with, but not a laughing smile, but more of an 'I understand you' smile. Does he understand me? Because I don't think that I understand myself.

Now my underwear is starting to fade away, and the part of me that is watching from a distance begins running onto the stage, and then behind the curtain. I breath in deep breaths. That was a close one. I was almost seen naked....-

I wake up. Oh good, it was just a dream.

Man, I really hate those dreams, because they just really mess with you. I am always relieved to find that I was never naked (or at least never almost) naked in front of a giant crowd of people.

Well, now it's time for me to get ready for school. Ugh. At least it's Friday though. Otherwise I don't know how I would get through the day.

***

"....in the end, after Abigail and her friends had sentenced so many people to death, and they knew that they were okay and safe from getting into trouble, Abigail finally fessed up and gave a petty truth to what had happened. Of course that didn't happen in the book, but that did happen in real life...." Mr. Rice say's.

"Now you all have an assignment on this. This is going to be worth one-hundred points, so pretty much, if you don't turn it in, you're screwed."

"Seriously?" Someone say's.

"Yes, seriously. This is going to be five to ten page paper on who was your favorite and least favorite people in the book."

"What?" A new voice chimes in. "How are we supposed to write even five pages on that?"

"It's quite possible you guys. You just need to apply yourselves."

After several minutes of complaints, my teacher finally gets the class to quiet down again.  "Now I know that it might seem like a lot on your heads, but you guys can do it. By the way, it isn't happening."

A pause.

"Huh?" Abby Dunforth finally says.

Just as simply and nearly devoid of emotion as he began, he simply said, "Yeah, it isn't happening. It was a joke people."

"Oh you Mr. Rice!" Someone behind me says. "You totally had us." I turn around and its one of the most annoying guys in my grade, but also one of the funniest. Philip Tollman. He gives me a sly smile and a wink, and before I can even think about it, I turn back around. Like I'm not confused enough as it is right now with boys. So I am just going to not think about it. Nope, I am not thinking about it. I am not thinking about it. Oh jeez I can't get it freaking out of my head now. It is making me feel self conscious, but in a good way. In a way where I felt pretty enough to be winked at. I'm sorry, but I cannot just let a wink go by. It's like when your best friend tells you that her cousin facebook stalked you, and you are strangely flattered by it, because, well, you're good looking enough to be facebook stalked.

Sadly, while in the moment of my internal rant, I just realize that I have completely missed the real assignment that Mr. Rice was preparing us for. But all of the sudden the bell rings and I need to go.

"Hey." I turn to Philip. He just looks up at me and smiles.

"Hey."

"So I wasn't paying too much attention. What did he say the assignment was?"

 He laugh's. "We need to write a one page analysis of how the book was to us. You need to copy that so you can remember?"

There is no teasing in his voice, just friendliness. Luckily English is our last period of the day, so we don't have to run to any classes afterwards. I quickly copy the assignment down and then begin my walk out the door and down the hall. Without noticing he suddenly joins me, walking into step with me.

"So you're Sam, right?"

Oh please don't be stupid. "Yup." We've only been going to school together since fifth grade.

"Hi, I'm Philip." He extends a hand toward me, and without thinking it through, I take it and my hand gently shakes his, while his is a little firmer. The way I like it.

I am so confused. He has never bothered to say one word to me over the years, let alone acknowledge my existence, and now, in our senior year of high school he's trying to be my friend?

"So, Sam..." He continues. "I've noticed that you're really good in English, even when you apparently don't pay attention, so I was wondering... Do you maybe want to help me out a bit?"

Oh, now it all makes sense. "If you mean doing all of your work for you, than no thanks." I walk ahead of him.

"Wow, wow, wow." He grabs my arm a pulls me to a stop. "What made you get that idea?"

"I don't know, maybe because we've been going to school together since the fifth grade and you have never spoken one word to me until now, and its to ask me to 'help' you do your homework. Doesn't that sound a little weird to you?" I say it all calmly, never once wavering my gaze from him.

He just stands there for a moment, stoically still. "Oh. You think that I'm just asking you to do my homework for me." It's not a question.

"Yeah. Sounded pretty much just like that." Okay, now I'm sounding a little snotty, but this guy has just always sort of bothered me.

"Well I'm sorry to tell you this, but I really was just asking for help and nothing else, and you seemed like the perfect person to ask considering your perfect grade in there."

Now it's time for me to be stoic. He just looks straight ahead and starts walking again without a glance back. Crap, now I feel bad.

"Wait!" I call. He does and turns to give me a slightly exasperated expression. "I'm sorry." I continue. "It's just I'm not used to guys all of the sudden turning up to me when they've never even talked to me before. It's not normal for me. I'm sorry. Yes, I will help you with your English homework."

His weary face suddenly slips to happiness in a matter of seconds. "Great, thanks. Should we just meet during lunch then?"

"Yeah, lets do that." Seemed like the least confusing time of the day to me.

"Awesome. And..." He lean's closer to me, a hint of some delicious musky aftershave mixed with the smell of his mint gum. All of the students bustle around us, eager to get out of this building. "I'm surprised that you think that this isn't normal for you, because I know that there are several guys who would love to date you."

I stare at him, confusion spreading across my face.

"Oh come on." He say's. "Don't act so innocent. A girl like you has got to know something like this."

"Um, no." I say slowly. "I went out with one guy for about two to three weeks this year, but that just didn't work out, but other than that I honestly can't think of anyone else."

He raises his eyebrows at me. "That," he says, "is extremely hard for me to believe."

"Why?" I say, truly curious.

"Because you are too pretty and smart of a girl to miss that."

What? "You... Um." I bite my lower lip. He's staring at me, and a redness has risen to his cheeks. The hallway is nearly empty besides two stragglers. I continue on walking. "Listen," I say, "if this is your way of coming on to me then please just don't right now. I already am confused enough about boys as it is. And strangely, I barely know you, even after years of school together that you don't even remember. But don't worry, " I say lightly, "I'll keep lunch open for you. Now sorry, I have to go. My sister is waiting for me."

I don't get that far ahead before he reply's, "No, I remember you. AND you admitted it. You do know that you get guy's attention. That's okay, I like a girl who know's what she's got." It isn't before he turns in the opposite direction that he gives me another one of his sly smiles, and leaves me feeling more confused than ever.